I hold a piece of paper in my hand, sitting in an empty room. It’s just another regular apartment in the suburbs of Pragma. I close my eyes and breathe in and escape the room while still being in it. A moment passed is passed but I relive being on the Isar beach with him on that evening in November. I feel the sea breeze on my skin. I open my eyes and find him in front of me.
The day was, somehow, warm and breezy at the same time. As the sun was setting down, my affection for him was rising up. Everything was beautiful. Not the kind of beauty filled with shimmery glitters and confetti. It was simple and serene. The clear blue sky seemed more accepting and forgiving that day. Forgiving how we under-appreciate it and accepting our admiration for the day. What added to the picturesque scene in front of me was him.
It was warm and breezy. On any other day, this cold breeze would have made me shiver. But the day was warm with his presence in it. Perhaps it was his love that brought me warmth and comfort on a cold day. Sure, the nature displayed it’s beauty but I couldn’t have seen it without him. And I couldn’t have appreciated his beauty either without looking at the scenery in front of me.
The last rays of sunlight hit the flowing waves washing the sandy beach. The birds were chirping above us. As they flew back to their homes, I clung on to the shoulders of my home. His shoulders were always burdened with tons of responsibilities but he was steady as a rock when I leaned on him for support. He was ready to take the weight of all my miseries and sorrows. His smile through the wind in his face defined serenity for me.
We sat down on the sand. His protective and loving arms embraced me and I rested my head on his shoulders. The words from his mouth were music to my ears and his angelic features were the most magnificent form of art I have ever known. His presence in my life was magical.
I can hear his reassuring words again. They keep reverberating in my ears. I loved him. And in that moment I fell in love even deeper, if that was possible. I knew I had everything I had ever wanted in my life with me as long as I had him beside me. But how long would he stay? If nothing lasts forever then perhaps our love would come to an end as well. Was the concept of infinity just an illusion? He reassured me. “Until the sun shines on the last waves of the endless sea”.
I remember being reluctant to be clicked. I never found myself photogenic and pretty enough to feature in photographs. Yet somehow he managed to make me feel beautiful, everyday. Now I drown myself in these photos of us just to relive being with him and feeling the butterflies in my stomach again. I lose myself in the photograph to find him again.
I gave my heart to a man who filled it with unconditional love. Years have passed by since he has been gone but his affection is still alive in my heart. Even though we are not together in the conventional way, he is still with me. He will always be with me, alive in the photographs and my memories and heart. I treasure his memories in a box of happiness.
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